How To Receive Love From The Genteel Alexis Fawx | ROI Podcast™ ep 485 | Law Smith & Eric Readinger
ROI! Return On Investment? Ritual Of Indulgence? Robust Oral Idol? ROI Podcast™ hosted by Law Smith @LawSmithWorks and Eric Readinger... Here's the episode description fo sho fo sho wrote
Law Smith and Eric Readinger piggyback off the previous episode hitting the back walls about hilarious chaos behind Tampa's 2 Bears 5K race. Law shares his adventures sprinting through Raymond James Stadium in American flag speedos, awkward celebrity run-ins with comedians Bert Kreischer and Tom Segura, and funny mishaps you won't hear anywhere else. Expect wild stories, comedic insights, and candid celebrity gossip—all served with ROI's signature humor. Buckle up comedy fans, this one's a ride. N.O.R.E. Noreaga, Comedian Meat Dave's Dave Williamson, Dean Akers, Jason Kelce, Bo Allen, Former All Pro and former Buccaneer Ryan Jensen, Buccaneer OG Cody Mauch, Buccaneer C Graham Barton, All Pro Buccaneer OT Tristian Wirfs, Barstool's Frank The Tank, Kevin KFC Clancy, John Feitelberg, Mike Calta, Por Osos Vodka, 2 Bears 1 Cave, Spartan Race, Oddsox, Alexis Fawx. In ROI Podcast® Episode #485, discover how adult film star Alexis Fawx surprised host Law Smith with her genuine warmth, explore eyebrow styling gone wrong, and master relationship communication strategies. Laugh while you learn invaluable tips on emotional intelligence, dating mishaps, and life's quirky realities. Your guide to receiving love—and avoiding eyebrow disasters—awaits.
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Hosts’ Eric Readinger & Law Smith 🔗s
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Law Smith 0:00
Let's hear this intro, dude. Okay,
a little volume. Is it white rappers from the suno AI rap,
Eric Readinger 0:18
yeah, you guys hired this house.
Law Smith 0:22
Oh, this guy might be a happy I mean, that's the blackest voice they'll give
Unknown Speaker 0:29
you for doing it during fourth period. I think it's pretty good.
Law Smith 0:34
It's not bad. Yeah, I need, I need to write lyrics. I've been thinking about it. I don't know why I haven't tried to start doing
Eric Readinger 0:41
these are probably better than what we would come up with. I didn't think about cutting checks.
Law Smith 0:51
Get your return on investment. Well, that's the name of the show
Unknown Speaker 1:01
for now, yeah, yeah, this
Law Smith 1:03
is good. Now, if we can, here's my thing with the intro, I want to fill college kind of bring in, you know, yeah, great. That's why I like the shot that big. Stayed with heart.
Eric Readinger 1:19
Just said we got a copyright No, we just, I was
Law Smith 1:23
saying, we just need to start it, like, 10 seconds later, cut the
Eric Readinger 1:27
pain in the ass. No, we don't want, I don't want to do somebody else's I want the computers to make the music for us.
Law Smith 1:34
That's fine. I'm just saying, bring in that like, it builds up and it's quick, okay?
Eric Readinger 1:40
I'll tell the computers that's all later for cool with me, how long?
Unknown Speaker 1:48
14 minutes it'll fade out and see if I did it correctly, fading it out on its
Law Smith 1:56
own. I mean, talk over it well if you want some hookups in the ads department? They'll be in the description of this episode. Oh,
Eric Readinger 2:05
yeah. We used to do ads. Yeah, we used to talk over music all the time. I know we used
Law Smith 2:10
to try to do a one minute, you know, two minute warning, two minute offense drill. Yeah, every time. But I
Unknown Speaker 2:17
don't know, remember the lightning round question?
Law Smith 2:19
I love it. I want we're gonna bring it back. We start getting some Yes,
Unknown Speaker 2:26
well, it's not like we're not able to get
Law Smith 2:28
them. I want to get Kathy Wood. You know who that is, no lives in St Peter's. We're one of the best investors in the world, and she's right across the bay from us. Best
Unknown Speaker 2:40
thing in what wood? Yeah, timber directions,
Law Smith 2:44
hey, wiener wood. Good start. Good
Unknown Speaker 2:54
start. Good start. Fucking
Law Smith 2:56
thing sucks. I was doing a bit about dating chicks, and they're like, are you going to try to be funny? Like, all the first off they start a lot of them start off go, I'm funnier than you. And you're like,
Unknown Speaker 3:09
What the fuck first of all, you're a woman.
Law Smith 3:13
Yeah, you're already down a couple points. I mean, you got to get two scores. I mean, the cockiness is just ridiculous, which sometimes I like, depending on the person. But when, when they're not funny, when you just know they're not
Eric Readinger 3:29
somebody who says I'm funny, there's an attitude with it that you can kind of tell them there that's not going to be funny. Well, I'm always like, I didn't
Law Smith 3:37
know we're in a competition. Apparently, this happens to a lot of comics, because I've heard them talk about it on podcast. When you get on the dating apps, they're like, I bet I'm funnier than you. I'm like, Oh, cool. Nice to meet you too.
Eric Readinger 3:50
Yeah? I mean, that's good though. That that, you know, that gets rid of a lot of the delusion
Law Smith 3:56
ahead of time, yeah? But by saying, like, I didn't know we're in competition as, like, a very smarmy comeback, yeah, it deflates them, and they got nothing. And I'm like, you didn't have anything after that. And then it's like, sounds awesome, no, but that's funny to me, you know? Yeah, but I was doing a big
Unknown Speaker 4:18
know what you're talking about. Do
Law Smith 4:20
you truly be funny all the time? And I'm like, I think I'm pretty boring day to day, honestly, like on the mics, different than it's a little heightened kind of conversation in here, or, you know, on stage. But I'm like,
Unknown Speaker 4:34
I don't know. I'm always trying. There's an opening. I'm going for it,
Law Smith 4:38
sure, but it's a calorie burner too. So it's like, you know, if it's effort, and sometimes you're just dad, tired,
Unknown Speaker 4:48
man, yeah, I get that. It's like, your
Law Smith 4:51
dad knows, wheeze in the mic.
Eric Readinger 4:53
I'm not doing it. I've been paying attention all the audio, holding my breath.
Law Smith 4:57
So mad. But I was like. Exhausting. Do you think when we're making sweet relations, I'm gonna whisper into your ear, I'm like, I don't know if it's the little Kim or it's you one or it's just I'm about to squirt, which is that
Unknown Speaker 5:18
what you're saying to me makes me want to fight you.
Law Smith 5:21
A little squirting, plus sharding. You think I'm gonna run bits by you while we're naked? I don't think so. That's all that's that's the gist of it. Why would she think that? Where'd that go from I was saying, like, women, the second question or second statement I get is, like, you should be funny. Like, all the time.
Unknown Speaker 5:41
Oh, you're saying, okay, yeah, not enough
Law Smith 5:51
daffodils. Girl. Like, do you think I'm gonna try to
Eric Readinger 5:54
be kooky? You gotta punch that one up. I don't even know what that means. It
Law Smith 5:58
doesn't, it's, doesn't mean anything. That's what I'm saying. Oh so out of bounds and not funny. Oh, that bombing while trying to hook up with a woman would be horrendous. Yeah, I'm trying. I'm playing. I'm playing not to lose
Eric Readinger 6:12
at that point. Yeah, four corners offense, yeah, I'm doing
Law Smith 6:15
proven defense. I'm trying to, like, I got, I got dime package in, yeah, sure, it's all there's too hot. I got seven DBS on the field. I'm trying not to fuck it up. Yeah,
Eric Readinger 6:30
cool. So, so what were we talking about? Um, did you have something I
Law Smith 6:36
am in St Pete beach this weekend. If anybody listens to this as it comes out. No, that wasn't it. It was May 16, 17 st, Pete Beach, Sunshine City Comedy Club, one show, Friday, two shows. Saturday, your boys headlining, and then at the end of the month in May, I'm in Clearwater, Clearwater Comedy Club. I'm supposed to do a set tonight that I forgot about. Fuck You sure about that? As we record this on Thursday, May 15, wait, you forgot. I forgot. I was asked to be on the show. And then I was like, maybe if we do the pie, I can just go from doing this over, go home for two hours and then, and then go drive over 45 minutes.
Eric Readinger 7:22
Oh, okay, but you forgot you were doing that. That was the plan from earlier. Yeah, the
Law Smith 7:28
program gender gray asked me to be on this show tonight and then, but I am headlining there at the end of May clear water, where your airbrush T shirts are. That area of clear water,
Unknown Speaker 7:40
great T shirts there, man, Memorial
Law Smith 7:42
Day weekend, which should be fun down that way. Yeah? That's, that's my audience. Yeah? Is like the cheap towel, yeah, store people,
Eric Readinger 7:51
you could be like, the mask off for clear water beach. Look, I just need some kind of look like you belong on an air bros t shirt. I'll give you that at this point, I'll take any niche I can get clear water. Man, the gays don't. They're not having it. They're not. They don't want any party. I look, I love the gays. Leave them alone. No
Law Smith 8:10
double income, no kids. They show up for stuff I
Eric Readinger 8:14
know, but not, not for you, though, yeah. But I, I was like,
Law Smith 8:18
maybe it can be an angle of like they think they can turn me,
Eric Readinger 8:23
oh, you're gonna get a lot. Yeah, sure. Okay, yeah,
Law Smith 8:27
I'm showing I'm showing these pipes. Wait, you already did that,
Unknown Speaker 8:29
and it's not working
Law Smith 8:30
well. I didn't really give it a real effort, but I just wanted it to happen. I try to manifest it, and it didn't really happen. But
Eric Readinger 8:38
you like, that's something that you can just speak into existence and happens immediately. It felt like you gotta No, no, no, vision board.
Law Smith 8:46
Don't know about gay mafia stuff. There's the every city has gay mafia. They kind of run the tape. They're the taste makers of the town they're in, and they kind of say what goes what? Yeah, you just see that's so what? That's such a foreign idea to you. What you ain't no fruit fly. I
Eric Readinger 9:05
mean, what? What do you mean? They what they say goes with what? There's
Law Smith 9:09
taste make with a group of gays. In any city there's a gay mafia. You said that there's a dawn and he's the man. He's the biggest tastemaker, not from penises. Get it, huh? Yeah, why
Eric Readinger 9:23
don't you call them the Dong? Well, I don't know that's why
Law Smith 9:27
we're punching it up. But at any rate, there are, like, a contingent of gays in every city that kind of kind of move the whole group,
Unknown Speaker 9:38
okay? But for what to
Law Smith 9:41
go do, self events, parties, whip its
Eric Readinger 9:45
Oh, like the social scene, yeah, yeah. Oh, that's
Law Smith 9:48
not that wasn't
Unknown Speaker 9:50
clear. Not really. No,
Law Smith 9:53
I don't know if I'm unclear or you're you're being
Eric Readinger 9:55
unclear. I'm just trying to get it broken now you gotta, you know, raise a mic. Mind reader. I mean, what? What would the gays be telling me how to do that? That's what I'm trying to figure out. Gays
Law Smith 10:07
don't like you as much they like me, though. Gays love me,
Unknown Speaker 10:13
dude. You sure about that?
Law Smith 10:16
I just talked to a gay on the drive over here. So figure that, okay,
Eric Readinger 10:20
that particular fanciest does like you better. Yes, he's been on the show bunch. I know that one. Yes, that one. And he's like, but in general, King
Law Smith 10:29
fancy gay too. That's, that's a big one. He's the dunk. Well, he's like, he'd be like, a bishop on a chessboard of gays, a gay chessboard. The bishop is the gayest piece. Yeah? Well, I mean, shaped like a wiener. They're all dragged too. They don't like they don't have the slit on there, like the normal Bishop.
Eric Readinger 10:47
You'd think the Queen would be the gayest piece, but it's not. It should
Law Smith 10:52
be, but it's, it's king. The King's King, still king man. One thing I forgot from last episode, we're talking about two bears. Oh, go back to the 5k Well, I messaged this to you. Okay, not even a wow, not even a sarcastic Wow. But what I probably just didn't see it. I got a I was snuck into the VIP area the two bears, one, 5k at Raymond James Stadium, two Sundays ago. Bert, Chrysler, Tom seguro, Jelly Rolls thing, 7500 people were there. I think 6000 did the race. And like snuck in the VIP area was talking to people. I'm wearing my American flag shorts and basically nothing else, looking pretty cool. Gays like a Republican. You think you can turn kind of style?
Unknown Speaker 11:49
There's no Republicans dressing like that, sir.
Law Smith 11:51
I want to get to this. But if you have an American flag, if you wear an American flag, people think you're Republican now, which is weird to me, yeah.
Unknown Speaker 11:59
Isn't that funny? Yeah? Um,
Law Smith 12:03
and if, like, but like, Dems got the, they got the words like, progressive, right? Yeah? Well, like, if you're, if you're a Republican, you're conservative, yeah, that's you. No one wants to be that. You're traditional,
Eric Readinger 12:17
right? And you can only be that one thing so
Law Smith 12:20
the Dems either or so, right? Dims got progressive and what's the other big one? Liberal kind of leans over their way, which, yeah, should kind of go both. But anyways, anyways, Republicans got American flag apparel, yeah, it's me and Kid Rock Red Hat. Yeah? Well, that, no, that's, that's a that's different, that's a further tranche, that's way further, right. Okay,
Unknown Speaker 12:47
anyways, 5k 5k
Law Smith 12:49
in the VIP area. This, this 5253, Chick comes up to me, very, very nice. Has an assistant kind of trailer, wearing like, a weird, I thought it was a porn hub parody hat. It looked like, you know, when, like, guys have a hat that looks like someone ran over with a car. I think Corolla has talked about this a bunch over love line, like, people that get a hat that looks like it's been run over and it's crinkled and it just looks like someone got a crane and kind of just dropped it on their head, and it makes them look schizophrenic.
Eric Readinger 13:26
Yeah, okay, you know, that kind of hat. Is this necessary for the story? Yes.
Law Smith 13:31
And so this, he's, like, a portly kind of Asian fellow just kind of trailing her. But she comes up to me and is like, I really like your outfit. And I go, Oh, thank you. It was, like, really nice. She's really warm, and has like, those huge assistant, no, this is a chick, okay, has these huge wraparound Oakleys, like from the 90s style. They're mirrored, so I can't see half her face. That's up there. And she's like, can I give you a hug? And I was like, Yeah, I'm dumbfounded, because she's hot, and I'm like, What's going I'm drunk. I'm like, am I getting fucking punked? What the fuck is going on? Okay, I messaged you later after we did the podcast, because I was like, Who was that chick? She was so nice. Alexis Fox, the porn star. Okay,
Eric Readinger 14:19
I did see it, and I saw the name, I'm like, I don't know exactly who that is, but I'm gonna guess it's a porn star. Yeah, she couldn't have been sweet. Even the spelling, she
Law Smith 14:30
was so nice. I was like, that's like, the nicest. Like, oh, they're all deers. They're not, though, like, she came up it was very, like, it was, like, very warm.
Eric Readinger 14:40
It was, I mean, they're not, no, I'm saying they're all super nice. I don't
Law Smith 14:43
think they are. I think they're like, they deal with something, what they do to guys on film. I don't think they come up to pretty nice. I don't think they go up to people like that. Normally. I don't think all of them do it like that. I think, I mean, sure,
Unknown Speaker 14:55
everybody's different.
Law Smith 14:56
She was Genteel. I would say, Okay, look. I'm going to point to the camera, Miss Fox, if you want to come on the podcast, anytime you can squirt on camera, you don't have to. If you don't want to, it's up to you. You can just be a nice lady like you were. Yeah, ladies don't be like they don't like being called ladies too. That's that's another ma'am. It falls in the ma'am category.
Eric Readinger 15:19
I found out what did in what context,
Law Smith 15:22
just trying to refer to a woman as a lady, or saying like, yes, ma'am to a woman is not cool. We're
Unknown Speaker 15:32
allowed to say anything anymore, bro, I know man.
Law Smith 15:37
It's the man one sucks real bad, because you're just trying to be really polite, like, normal, yes. And I've been like, don't call me ma'am. I
Unknown Speaker 15:45
do it to everybody. I hear
Law Smith 15:46
that you're 27 just you're still a woman, right? Yeah,
Unknown Speaker 15:51
just do, like, a little voice, yes, ma'am.
Law Smith 15:55
You know, it's nice. Well, so that Asian assistant trailing her. I was like, Oh, that was a real porn hub ad. I thought it was a joke.
Unknown Speaker 16:03
Yeah, it actually says Pornhub. Well, I just saw
Law Smith 16:06
the yellow the yellow block, that's all I remember. But yeah, it's a corn hub. Yeah. So I just thought that was interesting. And you gave me nothing when I slapped you about
Eric Readinger 16:18
it, my bad. I mean, also, what was I supposed to give you? That's pretty cool. Thumbs up.
Law Smith 16:22
Hey, this is a girl I see naked before. A lot, yeah, like a lot, like a lot, dude, and comes up, and usually you'd have to go, I'm a big fan, or something like that. To her, Oh, yeah, I don't know. It's very
Unknown Speaker 16:38
sweet. Big fan of yours pursue that.
Law Smith 16:41
I don't think so. Why not? I don't think she lives here. You know, be tough.
Unknown Speaker 16:46
Maybe she'll move here for you, um,
Law Smith 16:48
I don't know about that. I think
Unknown Speaker 16:51
visitor on set, I think
Law Smith 16:53
Miami is like, where everything's going on for that industry now, but not, I don't know. I don't think I could, I don't think I could compete in any which way,
Unknown Speaker 17:04
right? Like, I forgot about that part of it,
Law Smith 17:07
yeah,
Unknown Speaker 17:08
yeah, that's okay. That's okay. No big deal. I
Law Smith 17:10
don't think effort matters as much, right? I was like, Hey, I'm not a grower or a shower.
Unknown Speaker 17:18
You know the effort?
Law Smith 17:22
Well, what you got going? What's in your wheelhouse? Summer's here. Yeah,
Eric Readinger 17:28
and queer just went to friend of the program, John Paul labadis. Oh
Law Smith 17:35
yeah, Mazel Tov, to him, I said, my congrats. I don't think he got back to me, but I don't blame him.
Unknown Speaker 17:45
Yeah, it was
Law Smith 17:46
a Friday night one, right? Yeah, it's a good time. That's smart, saves a lot of money. Yeah, I always thought about, like, when I lived in LA, all about Chinese friends I had. They were getting, like, a Tuesday, yeah, like, after work, Tuesday at noon. They're like, it's a 10th the cost, pretty smart, yeah,
Eric Readinger 18:03
probably have to pay if you don't care, who cares? Yeah? I mean, you know, Catholic mass been a minute.
Law Smith 18:13
I've only done one of those before. If I ever have to go to one of those, I'm gonna get up and walk out for a while. Well, they really, especially with the new pope, they probably milked that a little bit.
Eric Readinger 18:25
Yeah, they chained USA Pope, USA Pope for like, 30 seconds. That's pretty
Law Smith 18:31
cool. Yeah, I'm good with that, because I'm a Republican. It was weird, actually, flag wearing, man,
Eric Readinger 18:38
I had been in a church in a while, and as we're sitting there surrounded by a bunch of Catholics, that's when they announced the new pope, standing in a church.
Law Smith 18:47
You grow up Catholic, oh yeah, and went to Catholic school. Oh
Unknown Speaker 18:51
yeah, yep, yep, yeah. I was doing church twice a week for Oh,
Law Smith 18:54
Catholic Church too. It's not you have to put the Catholic ahead of that. That is a different ball game. Yeah, that's an hour at least,
Unknown Speaker 19:04
for sure. And it's also not like
Law Smith 19:06
there's no cool business casual either. Yeah,
Eric Readinger 19:09
exactly. Sunday. Best. Sit quietly and it's hot, right? Don't start laughing.
Law Smith 19:16
I never understood, like, Why do I have to wear a coat and tie when it's
Eric Readinger 19:20
June, right? Doesn't the Lord not give us yet?
Law Smith 19:23
I'm going to sweat right through my Oshkosh Bucha outfit. I don't think
Eric Readinger 19:27
it says formal as it used to be. Can't be well, the numbers, nobody would show up. Nobody would show up. I gotta
Law Smith 19:34
look this up while you're you're telling me what happened. What happened? You know, I couldn't
Eric Readinger 19:39
leave those in the front row. But yeah, I was like, I didn't know we were doing the math. I found out, like, the day before, like, are we? Like, nobody wanted to ask, because it was rude. We were going to do the whole thing. Or, like, because they. Do that, the Jiffy version, where it's like, just the you do you You're married Kiffin, like that side. Yeah, right. Fast Pass. Oh, when they make a meal out of it, it really bugs me, right? It really feels self, self congratulating.
Law Smith 20:16
They do the frankincense or myrrh. Which one's the one that stinky? You know they come around the big light,
Eric Readinger 20:23
yeah? Frankincense? No, that's incense. That's what they're there. That's what it is. But
Law Smith 20:31
it's not like, it's not like your weed dealer back in the day smell. It's like a, it's like a pungent it always I was like, this has to be what, like a coffin smells like after a day, see,
Eric Readinger 20:44
I didn't, I mean, I didn't really remember the smell being that bad. And then just recently, I got incense to burn the house, and I was like, I'm gonna try this one, the same exact one that they burn at church. And I was like, trying to like it in the house. Maybe you're kind of nice, maybe you're
Law Smith 21:02
maybe you're a priest. Oh, maybe, maybe you're gonna make that turn what
Unknown Speaker 21:07
to Jesus to going
Law Smith 21:09
back to Catholic Church? Man, being a good Catholic,
Unknown Speaker 21:14
it's a commitment, dude. It's a lot of bet hedging.
Law Smith 21:17
Almost all of my Catholic friends say they're Catholic, would never go to church, ever, ever.
Unknown Speaker 21:24
I mean, the thing with it is it's it,
Law Smith 21:27
nor read anything. It repeats every
Eric Readinger 21:29
three years. Masses just start over, like they read from the same part of the Bible. Two years later, they just keep doing it. Oh, really, yeah, man, if somebody could bring anything to the table, but, like, I
Law Smith 21:41
suppressed all my Jesuit High School Catholic Stuff. I
Eric Readinger 21:45
will say, I give the I don't know if he was the priest given the humbling, but he did point out he's like, I'm, you know, here I am giving you marriage advice from a man who's never been with a woman or something like that. He called it out. That's the
Law Smith 22:03
wildest shit, right? You have to go to marriage counseling before to talk to a guy, yes, who's never been kissed. Oh,
Eric Readinger 22:09
and his now wife, she converted to she went through the whole thing to convert to Catholic for
Law Smith 22:16
producer and third Mike, yes, whoa, right? Man, look, I wouldn't want that because, as our other friend that used to be a guest on here a bunch, Liz Newman, great writer, should go women. Every time you fight with them about something, they go in the file cabinet, right? They're going to bring up every thing she's like, I want to do it. I don't do it because I know it's terrible, but my instinct is to pull up every file, yeah, when we're arguing about, you know, how I drive or something, I know
Eric Readinger 22:52
sometimes it's like, are they just better at recalling? Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. But then it's not always the right shit. I know it's just like I got a recall the instance, and then it's just like a jumping off point. I
Law Smith 23:05
got better at this stuff after a while, learning from my attorney buddies, it's like, we have to be specific to what we're talking about right now. You can't bring up the past stuff unless it's really a behavioral thing, but you have to do the behavioral talk at a different time, not when an incident happens. Let's just talk about the thing that happened. Yeah, and be specific on why this makes you mad, because, like you said earlier, I can't mind read. And when you said that, I immediately had PTSD of like me saying this to every woman I've ever been. Yeah, I'm like, Look, if you ask me a question, I will tell you exactly how I'm feeling. And sometimes it throws women off because I have thoughts already pre loaded, because I'm thinking about something, right, or I've thought about this question before I've been asked Yes, thank you for asking right? And it's like, if it does throw some women I've dated off, but like, the other thing is, like, what that you're like, a pool. I can't predict your own mind, but I'm supposed to, right, yeah, it's like, it's bizarre. I'm supposed to take, like, an FBI interrogation. I'm supposed to look at your face and get that it's not, we're never fighting about the thing we're talking about
Eric Readinger 24:20
usually, yeah, what is that? I don't know. Man,
Law Smith 24:24
that I think, and I think about this whole thing, but I
Eric Readinger 24:27
don't know if it's just, I don't know if it's just women, though. Well, they've definitely seen it from dudes just not being able to identify why they're upset and just, oh, tantrums and shit. Like, I've definitely seen guys do it.
Law Smith 24:39
But you you can't put us in the same tranche as most dudes. No, I know
Eric Readinger 24:43
that's what I'm saying. It's more of a personal, individual thing. But we're not on. We
Law Smith 24:47
don't get treated like the specific person. You get bucketed as a guy.
Eric Readinger 24:52
I've had, I mean, I've always fantasized about just flipping this, just if you're the. Crazy one, and they gotta work off of
Law Smith 25:04
you, yeah? But you don't know you're crazy. That's part of being crazy.
Eric Readinger 25:07
No, I'm saying you become the crazy person. Oh, my choice, right? Well, I know it's like, the like I get, the other person has to be not crazy. Yeah, can't both be crazy,
Law Smith 25:18
yeah? As Robert Kelly says, only one headshot in the relationship, yeah, which is a very good quote for this. I mean, like one person has to be even. And it's, I feel like our age group. I don't know about your group of dudes you grew up with, but most of my guy friends are, are doing the thing of, like, way too much, way more dad stuff, that 300% more than our dads did, like, involvement, right? Or the era. But you know, of our dads still feel like a piece of shit. Yeah? It's still like, like,
Unknown Speaker 25:52
Yeah, still being like, Oh man,
Law Smith 25:56
I'm doing the center of Jessica Parker movie thing, and then getting shit for it, right?
Eric Readinger 26:01
What the hell are you talking about? We've talked about this for your Jessica Parker movie, all the chicks
Law Smith 26:06
in a certain what generation, our millennial generation now, this older generation of ladies, they think they should have a Sarah Jessica Parker movie going. They should be the wife. They should be the dedicated mom, the career woman, have time to work out and have a nice house, right? And, like, they they're in charge of that house, and it's like, no, that's one 1% of 1% of 1%
Eric Readinger 26:33
of people, right? Like, that's fair, but, and they're usually loaded, but
Law Smith 26:38
you get they've had a message fucking thrown at him their whole life of like you should be all these things,
Eric Readinger 26:44
yeah, yeah. Man, we're so fucked, yeah.
Law Smith 26:48
And then it what happens a lot of the time is resentment towards no matter what the guy's doing, good or bad, it's gonna go that way. Right? Not yourself. Why would you look inward. No, that'd be me. Wouldn't be me? Projections the best way to solve problems. Eric, look, we, we've talked about this for i We haven't bought this up in a couple of years. But man, women got this rage thing, and I'm like, please just go for a walk. Just anybody, pretty much, can go for a walk or something physical, some some workout, something. I don't care if it's Jazzercise, roller blade, whatever. I don't care how lame it is.
Eric Readinger 27:31
Most of the time, that's not possible. And it's like, Well, this was just go, go away, and
Law Smith 27:37
you don't go off. What a walk around your neighborhood is for your brain.
Speaker 1 27:42
Yeah, I do. Me. I do. Yes, I do. I did it this morning. But you know,
Eric Readinger 27:47
if they leave, then how who's gonna who's gonna be arguing about the thing
Law Smith 27:53
this house is gonna go under if I leave right for 45 minutes? Yeah?
Unknown Speaker 27:57
I mean, how's that work? Yeah? Well, good luck getting married. John Paul, that's that's
Law Smith 28:05
what we're trying to say. It's a long way to congratulations. Another, another gripe I have about women while I was walking this morning is, what are they doing with their eyebrows? What are white chicks doing with eyebrows? Now? What way look if you got a unibrow? By all means, get that shit laser, make it one into two. Cool. I'm fine. Yeah, you gotta Anthony Davis, your Armenian, whatever it is, you know, get that shit right above your nose, kind of laser. But I You haven't noticed like, chicks in the last like, 10 years doing eyebrows. They're like, I think the rule should be, you can only take hair off. You can't pencil shit on. Oh yeah. You ever seen the, like, laser tattoo shit, where they fuck it up,
Unknown Speaker 28:47
not where they fuck it up? Oh, buddy, you know that's
Law Smith 28:51
something you don't want to have a coupon for that procedure. No, I've seen, like, I've had I see women with, like, constant, it looks like they're angry. Dude
Eric Readinger 29:01
I was so you know, my previous relationship white before that ended. White Chicks are pulling got it tattooed? Yeah? No, this looked like an evil version of herself.
Law Smith 29:13
It's not that unusual, is what I'm saying. It's like, it's a lot of white chicks, right?
Eric Readinger 29:18
Because it's like, Why are you mad at me all the time? It's like, I'm not. It's my eyebrows. I saw,
Law Smith 29:23
I saw one that was like, my bad like, where one was, like, almost raised up on accident. So it looked like she was thinking, like, right, always suspicious emoji. I've seen it, like, both slashes going the same direction, yes. And it's like, okay, chicks are doing Botox. You're pulling back your your bluffs, or whatever. You're pulling it back here at the at the cheeks, and then you're doing this crazy stuff with the eyebrows.
Eric Readinger 29:52
Do we talk about that? How it's like when you Botox, you can't really express yourself all the way the way you want to. I yeah, like, think about that. Like, I personally believe there's emotion that has to come out one way or another. Well,
Unknown Speaker 30:09
I know that, yeah, but I mean, like,
Eric Readinger 30:12
at the very least miscommunication, where it's like, you made yourself into this neutral face so you can't really be happy, angry, you know, if anything that requires your forehead,
Law Smith 30:26
you're done. But like, it does, you have to look at other people that get the eyebrow thing done and be like, gotta get that done. I don't know it's, it's, it's like a coin flip, how good it is. Yeah, I mean, but they, I guess you think you're gonna get, you're gonna get
Unknown Speaker 30:44
it right, right? Oh, man, that like, don't
Law Smith 30:48
fuck with eyebrows unless you're just, you can only that's, that was what I thought about on a walk without my phone today. I was like, you can only remove, you can't add anything,
Eric Readinger 30:57
yeah, but you, you're assuming everybody has thick eyebrows. You know, not everybody has real thick eyebrow. Maybe they want a little bit of something,
Law Smith 31:05
something I understand weird. I understand the want. Don't get me wrong. I get the I get why they want to do it. But hey, man, you might just not be able to do it. God, I'll never forget. I'd love a big penis. I'd love one in my face.
Eric Readinger 31:21
DJ, one time. I don't even understand how he did it, but like, was trimming his eyebrows, nicked them, and then just ended up shaving them off
Law Smith 31:33
to make them even.
Eric Readinger 31:35
Eyebrows take forever to grow back. Oh yeah, it's crazy. And it was, like, two months later. I'm like, You're sticking with this look. Now, what are you doing? You won't notice
Law Smith 31:44
it. You'll be like, what's wrong with you? I don't it'll take you a minute a lot of the time. Yeah, right. And Botox is made from botulism toxin, yeah? So that's cool. You didn't know. I just wanted to I was double checking because I was like, That can't be right by
Eric Readinger 32:02
weight, like, one of the most expensive substances on Earth. Well, I've been the most.
Law Smith 32:06
I have hyperhidrosis in my hands and feet. They sweat all the time. Yeah, it's pretty cool. Don't wear flip flops a lot.
Eric Readinger 32:13
Did I tell you about the bachelor party at all? Any of that I don't remember? Told me off mics and stuff. Did I tell you about the fishing on the roof. Oh, yeah. So much that other guy about AJ, just Walker. I wasn't even there for but I just thought it was such a funny visual, getting trapped on an island and he was trying to get off. You're up in I gotta get back to greater Hillsborough County.
Law Smith 32:36
You're about an hour north, hour 30 north, of the Tampa Bay area on the west coast, where it's not quite beachy, it's almost asset, yeah, it's more mangroves and, yeah, efficient. And then a lot of people have these little, cool cabins on islands. You have to get there by boat, right? It is a place that no one's really documented in a movie or TV show. To my I
Eric Readinger 32:59
mean, I was thinking, like, walking around this thing, like in the concrete on the ground, it's like, Joe and Billy Bob, 84 and I was like, damn, this thing's been here. Think about back in 84 Oh, yeah, everything went on that island. Yeah. God only knows, because they thought the place, they thought one of the houses, was haunted. Oh, I mean, they said that the door kept opening and stuff and like all this, you just walked around and there's an area in the back. There's something weird about this place.
Law Smith 33:26
There's a monkey island over in Crystal River, yes.
Eric Readinger 33:29
And that leads me to my idea that I had while I was oh, monkey
Law Smith 33:32
man Island. You buried the lead on this. This, we should have opened with this. We
Eric Readinger 33:36
just need to get stick, like six of us out on an island. Just see what happens. We will be allowed women to come to the island once whenever
Law Smith 33:47
every guy is famous. That's why Think about it
Eric Readinger 33:51
like but this is not just like passed away. This is like Monkey Island where people are driving by. So like, they could throw a sandwiches, you know, we could throw stuff back
Law Smith 34:00
at them. Wait, are we monkeys, or they're monkeys?
Eric Readinger 34:02
We're monkey man islands. Uh huh. Are you okay, monkey men?
Law Smith 34:09
So you want to,
Eric Readinger 34:09
you just want to be monkey man, don't you under like, it's, we're on the island, and we're just the monkey men. And then people drive by like, oh, because monkey man Island, let's pay our respects. Some nickels. Adam, you
Law Smith 34:21
get out there first. I'll meet you out there. You know, I'll bring some. I can't afford
Unknown Speaker 34:25
to do it alone.
Law Smith 34:26
Well, you know, get John Paul and his wife. That ruins
Eric Readinger 34:30
monkey man Island. Well, he's only allowed once every whenever. What are you gonna
Law Smith 34:35
do? Monkeys? Monkeys, hump stuff. You gotta just bang coconuts. What's what you're gonna have to have your knees. We're
Eric Readinger 34:44
gonna be so occupied by the whole, you know, presentation of everything that.
Law Smith 34:50
But you want a competing Monkey Island, there's already one. Okay, now
Eric Readinger 34:54
we're talking there's already one out another monkey man island across the way. It has something to do with weapon. And swim over and take over their island. Now we're talking, okay, 1930s
Law Smith 35:03
King Kong movie has something to do with that, that that the one that's there right now in Crystal River, Florida, the guy brought like monkeys over, right from the movie. Yeah, pretty messed
Unknown Speaker 35:15
up. Actually, these little monkeys can't really leave.
Law Smith 35:20
I mean, if they really got their shit together and stop fucking blaming the government, maybe they
Eric Readinger 35:26
could go, go up and evolve, make a canoe, taking so long to make tools and build something to get out of
Law Smith 35:31
there, they get hooked up. Though they're pretty they're pretty nice. I'm saying there's why
Eric Readinger 35:35
we're only like 30 women in it and monkey man Island.
Law Smith 35:39
I don't want to be a monkey man
Unknown Speaker 35:43
that? Well, I didn't necessarily mean us. Oh, you
Law Smith 35:46
want to get some like,
Unknown Speaker 35:49
Catch a Predator. College Hunks throwing jokes. We
Law Smith 35:53
get, we get six guys from Catch a Predator. We tell them, You got to go to this island. Now
Unknown Speaker 35:58
we're talking they show up called Monkey man Island
Law Smith 36:03
makes her lemonade, right?
Unknown Speaker 36:04
And then they go through the seltzers.
Law Smith 36:07
Yeah, they all drink their own six pack that came with because there's, they ain't getting it on. There's no computers out there, right? We sell block their cellular, you know, frequency, so sure, sure. That dies after three days. You know, batteries die on that. And then we just, Lord of the Flies it, we see what happens. Yeah, those guys, I doubt, swim very well. I don't think pedophiles swim. No, they don't. I don't know this to be true, but I would guess they don't swim very well, right? I mean,
Eric Readinger 36:36
that's why, you know, the kids always swim away, and
Law Smith 36:40
then, and then it's pedophile,
Unknown Speaker 36:45
yeah, but it's what I'll Oh, pedaff Isle, okay, hey, some pedophile, and Epstein's
Law Smith 36:57
got to live on somehow, pedophile. And have you seen the ditty stuff, by the way, before we close it out, not really, whoa, buddy. There is some wild, wild stuff on testified. Oh
Eric Readinger 37:09
yeah, yeah, I'm gonna have to catch up. I feel like it's, it's gonna be too much. Well,
Law Smith 37:14
I think they brought one guy in that was, I think his name's Audi O, D, D, I, and then you read, like, what he said in testimony, I think, and then it's like, oh, wow, this, this is incriminating. And then it keeps going into like, conspiracy, conspiracy, conspiracy. It gets like, outside of what this is, like, it's like, macro conspiracy stuff. It has nothing to do with what they're talking about. He just is, like, yeah, in the FBI, that is the FBI did this, like, it's like, well, they're asking you about the lube parties and you know how entrapment and stuff and get you on camera? Yeah, they're not talking about JFK assassination. Well,
Eric Readinger 37:53
you know, who knows man did? He could be a fed. He could be an asset. Isn't
Law Smith 38:01
he mad he's not getting the attention in prison because Sam bankman, fried, or one of those, a guy a notable arrest is in the same cell block as him. He's getting a lot more attention. Isn't that funny? He's in prison like me. Hey, man, I'm the coolest. Yeah,
Unknown Speaker 38:20
Diddy, you're a nerd. Yeah,
Law Smith 38:24
did all Diddy, all right, well, you know, we should always close out our episodes talking about talking
Eric Readinger 38:29
Diddy, baby, you know, d i
Law Smith 38:32
The D, the D, the Y, it's did Ying, what?
Eric Readinger 38:36
Oh, boy. You.
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